This transformative moment of caterpillar goo as I figure out how to make my business be what I want it to be in my life, it's a time to work inwardly, to give new ideas a rich ground for germination. I'm striving quietly, with sunshine soaking into me rather than heat burning me up.

Why am I currently identifying with the gooey caterpillar soup?

Because work isn't quite working for me the way I need it to.

So I'm leaning into abundance instead and paying people I trust for help.

I want to take a moment here at the midpoint of the year to reflect on and celebrate some of my achievements in the first half of the year gone by.

I am tool and substance
I apply force, I rotate
I give way and transform
Offering myself

This performance art piece kept right on resonating in more and more meaningful ways over the past three years, and here’s my tattoo inspired by it.

What is still most deeply here to push me forward is my curiosity and my eclecticism and my talent for connection.

My ‘normal routine’ right now is to work at accepting that I don’t know what’s coming next and to forge ahead as bravely and transparently as I can.

I think it was the Nagoski sisters, in their book Burnout, who talked about the surprising realization that what mid-life crises look like for women tends to be very different from the masculine stereotype of sportscar-buying, younger-women-dating, burning-down-the-bridges. Instead, it comes as a questioning of what we’re prioritizing for ourselves and an examination of how we want to feel/how we’re not feeling that we can change.

As this trip comes to a close, I’m thinking about how I want to write about it in some larger way. What are you interested in hearing about from my 2+ months around the USA?

I took my friends out to the Western Slope of Colorado, returning to the area I last left behind in December 2020 after resigning from the job that I’d moved out there for just before the pandemic hit in a globally massive way.

It’s going to take me a while to untangle and peruse through all the feelings this brought up.

After Capitol Reef today and Kanab before that, and the glorious afternoon hike along Calf Creek in Escalante, I’ve been soaking up the awe-inspiring geology for a while now. I’ll be sad to leave it behind, but there’s part of me that’s looking forward to heading home to see how the next phase goes.

“You’re allowed to go out and be you rather than something fixed. The world is changing, and we’re all part of remaking it… and we don’t have to follow the paths and patterns that we once had to follow.”